Little Hand On Elmo

It's A Money Shirt!

Void Void Void

This story reminds me of an episode of The Simpsons where Homer goes to the bank and tries to cash a $1,000,000 check he received in the mail. Doh!

If I Were On The Grand Jury

I heard a longer account of the 911 call last week and even then it seemed to me that the shooter was over-anxious to get out there and use his shotgun. His life was never in danger or threatened as long as he stayed on the phone and didn't go outside to confront the burglars. Better to be a good witness especially over some property that didn't even belong to him. What if it had been a couple of kids stealing the neighbors bike? Someone's life isn't worth it. I'm thinking indictment.

Monday Morning

It snowed all day on Saturday. Too bad the weather hadn't been colder a couple of days earlier to get the ground freezing. None of the snow stuck to the streets but grassy areas and roof tops got about 4 inches of snow. Mountain elevations a bit more.

Still Bored At Work (With An Open Mind)

You Are 52% Open Minded

You are a very open minded person, but you're also well grounded. Tolerant and flexible, you appreciate most lifestyles and viewpoints. But you also know where you stand firm, and you can draw that line. You're open to considering every possibility - but in the end, you stand true to yourself.

How Open Minded Are You?

Kind Of Like Winter

The latest from the National Weather Service:

/O.NEW.KEPZ.WS.A.0003.071124T1000Z-071125T0000Z/
523 AM MST FRI NOV 23 2007

...WINTER STORM WATCH IN EFFECT FROM LATE TONIGHT THROUGH SATURDAY AFTERNOON...

SHOWER ACTIVITY IS EXPECTED TO DEVELOP AND INCREASE ACROSS THE REGION LATE TONIGHT AND CONTINUE INTO SATURDAY EVENING. INITIAL PRECIPITATION WILL BE RAIN ACROSS THE LOW ELEVATIONS. TOWARDS SATURDAY MORNING SOME LOCATIONS MAY SEE A MIX OF SNOW AND RAIN...BUT LITTLE TO NO ACCUMULATION IS EXPECTED. SATURDAY A COLD FRONT WILL MOVE INTO THE REGION. THIS WILL COOL TEMPERATURES AND ALLOW AREA PRECIPITATION TO TURN OVER TO SNOW. POSSIBLE ACCUMULATIONS OF 1 TO 3 INCHES ARE POSSIBLE SATURDAY AFTERNOON AND EVENING.

A WINTER STORM WATCH MEANS THERE IS A POTENTIAL FOR SIGNIFICANT SNOW...SLEET...OR ICE ACCUMULATIONS THAT MAY IMPACT TRAVEL. CONTINUE TO MONITOR THE LATEST FORECASTS.

I'm betting that there won't be any snow. Humbug.

Contemplating Humor While At Work

Your Score: the Wit

(52% dark, 38% spontaneous, 26% vulgar)

your humor style:
CLEAN COMPLEX DARK

You like things edgy, subtle, and smart. I guess that means you're probably an intellectual, but don't take that to mean pretentious. You realize 'dumb' can be witty--after all isn't that the Simpsons' philosophy?--but rudeness for its own sake, 'gross-out' humor and most other things found in a fraternity leave you totally flat.

I guess you just have a more cerebral approach than most. You have the perfect mindset for a joke writer or staff writer.

Your sense of humor takes the most thought to appreciate, but it's also the best, in my opinion.

You probably loved the Office. If you don't know what I'm talking about, check it out here: http://www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/theoffice/.

PEOPLE LIKE YOU: Jon Stewart - Woody Allen - Ricky Gervais




The 3-Variable Funny Test!
- it rules -

If you're interested, try my best friend's best test: The Genghis Khan Genetic Fitness Masterpiece

Link: The 3 Variable Funny Test written by jason_bateman on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

Winter? I'd Be Happy With Fall.

The temperature has been in the mid 70's this week. Tomorrow there will be a drop of about 20 degrees. We even have a watch/warning from the National Weather Service.

645 AM MST WED NOV 21 2007...STRONG COLD FRONT EXPECTED TONIGHT......WINTRY WEATHER AND THE COLDEST TEMPERATURES OF THE SEASON THIS WEEKEND...A COLD FRONT WILL PUSH INTO THE AREA THIS EVENING WITH STRONG EAST WINDS EXPECTED...ESPECIALLY ON THE WEST SLOPES OF AREA MOUNTAINS WHERE GUSTS TO 40 MPH ARE NOT OUT OF THE QUESTION. A COOL AIRMASS BEHIND THE FRONT WILL ALSO MEAN MUCH COOLER TEMPERATURES ACCOMPANIED BY A CHANCE FOR MOUNTAIN SNOW AND LOWER-ELEVATION SPRINKLES OVERNIGHT AND INTO THURSDAY. INCREASING CHANCES FOR MOUNTAIN SNOW SHOWERS AND LOWLAND RAIN SHOWERS ARE EXPECTED OVERNIGHT FRIDAY NIGHT ON THE TOES OF A STRENGTHENING UPPER LEVEL STORM SYSTEM PUSHING INTO THE SOUTHWESTERN STATES. YET ANOTHER COLD BLAST IS EXPECTED DURING THE DAY ON SATURDAY AS THE UPPER LEVEL STORM SYSTEM PUSHES OVER THE BORDERLAND. THE RESULT WILL BE CONTINUED CHANCES FOR SHOWERS AND THE COLDEST TEMPERATURES THUS FAR IN THE SEASON...STRUGGLING TO MAKE IT INTO THE LOWER 40S IN THE LOWLANDS. AS TEMPERATURES FALL LATE SATURDAY AFTERNOON...LOWLAND RAINSHOWERS WILL BEGIN TO MIX WITH SNOW BEFORE TURNING OVER TO ALL SNOW SATURDAY EVENING.
OVERALL...SIGNIFICANT SNOW ACCUMULATIONS ARE EXPECTED ACROSS AREA MOUNTAINS...ESPECIALLY IN THE SACRAMENTO MOUNTAINS WHERE ISOLATED 12 INCH TOTAL SNOW ACCUMULATIONS MAY BE SEEN THROUGH SUNDAY NIGHT. LESS THAN AN INCH OF SNOW IS EXPECTED ACROSS THE LOWLANDS AT THIS TIME.

Cool. Literally. I like cold weather. But snow? I'm not holding my breath.

Time Stands Still

Spent an hour and a half at my local Social Security office. I cannot find my card so I went to file for a replacement and to get a new one for my stepdaughter. We took a number and waited for 65 minutes and then the rest of the time was with the woman who went over our paperwork. It would have take about 10 minutes less if the woman had not taken a personal call. That just irked me to no end but I was polite and didn't say anything. I just don't understand the mindset of government employees.

If I Had $80 Million

I would buy my own luxury submarine like this one. That would be so cool.

Work Is Wonderful

If You've Got The Time

After yesterdays post I suddenly had the urge to watch George Romero's Night of the Living Dead. You can watch it here if you've got nothing better to do in the next 95 minutes.

Addendum

I was contemplating all day of how to file a complaint about the parking that goes on along the street I was talking about earlier. The cars cause congestion and traffic hazards because they block the view of traffic. Well, this evening I noticed that there were new "No Parking Anytime" signs put up. Woo Hoo.

Night of the Living Idiots

I was on my way home last night and was waiting to make a left hand turn from a parking lot onto a street. There was one car coming down the road in the direction I wanted to go so I let him pass and pulled out behind him. There is a stop sign approximately 12 feet from where I pulled out from and this is where the guy in front of me stopped (actually just short of the stop sign.) I could see that he put the car into reverse so I honked my horn. This led to the man raising his arms up and I figured he wanted to park there. I started to back up and the car that pulled out right after me honked for coming into his lane. I pulled forward a little as close as I could to the guy who stopped in front of me. He got even more upset because I was too close to him and he couldn't maneuver to park his car straight on the street. I moved forward a little and being the hot-head that I am rolled my window down to discuss the issue. I was actually being polite and calm until the guy called me a "Pendejo" so I said that he was a fucking dumb ass for trying to park so close to a stop sign. The argument escalated into us questioning each others' manhood and mothers' honors. All this took place in less than a minute but it felt good being able to use all the bad words I know in Spanish.

Later, I came to a stop light controlling a busy intersection. On the street that I was on the left hand turn lane is actually a double left turn lane. I had my signal going and I was in the second turn lane (counting from the middle median) so I could take the turn wide and make a right on the next street. Can you picture that? The van to my left decided to take the turn wide and was about to hit me until I used my horn. He swerved out of the way and I could see the woman in the passenger seat was upset with the driver. After the last incident I decided to open all my windows because the evening was cooling off nicely. So when I pulled up even with the van the woman apologized to me and I said that it wasn't a problem. The driver took his hat off and was showing me the printing on it. It was the designation for a Naval warship. He kept saying it was Veteran's Day so please excuse him. I also told him it was alright and made my right turn. Then I got to thinking. Was the guy trying to tell me that he was toasted after a Veteran's Day party or that he wasn't in the wrong because he was a veteran?

Colors and Commercials

I went to the store to buy The Little One a new box of crayons over the weekend. I was going to buy the box with 64 colors and the sharpener in the back but saw that they had a 96 color box. It even had the sharpener built into the back of the box. Wow. The things I could have done back in the younger years with 96 colors. And I love the smell of crayons. Brings back memories. I also saw my first Christmas commercial on the television. How depressing.

Live Long and Prosper

Yes, I could picture Winona Ryder as a Vulcan. And a hot one to boot. But being cast as Spock's mother? I have a problem with that because we all know Spock's mother was Human. This must be some cruel and unusual trickery by the Hollywood studio. Someone needs to get to the bottom of this and fast. Warp ten!

Get A Quote

Gordon vs. Sebastian

Tonight's episode of Kitchen Nightmares was interesting. Sebastian definitely was opposed to the changes Gordon wanted to make and it was a wonder that the two of them didn't end up in a brawl. I looked up the restaurant on the net and it seems Sebastian has added on to the menu to add his personal touch. At least it's not as confusing as before Gordon got there. Alas, I still haven't found his pizzas at my local grocery.

New BFF and Just Not Paying Attention

Hey, are you looking for a best friend or buddy? Then you've got to check out Dogs In Danger. And I hate it when I get home, open a newly purchased DVD, pop it into the player and discover I bought the full screen version. Dang it. Why even make full screen versions of theatrical releases?

Child Stars and Goat Suckers

Old news but good photos of 15 child stars and their trials and tribulations that came with their fame can be viewed here after disabling pop-ups. Someone should sign the Olsen twins to star in a horror flick. Ugh! And the dead Chupacabras found near San Antonio have been proven not to be the blood-sucking monsters but in fact only coyotes with hair problems. You can read the story here. But I still believe.

Sagas, Monsters, and Dirty Money

I left work this morning because I just needed to get out for a while and went browsing at Best Buy. My $20 reward certificate was expiring today and I didn't want it to go to waste. I finally got around to buying the Star Wars Trilogy (episodes IV, V, and VI) with the bonus disc and I also ended up buying 28 Weeks Later because I didn't see it yet and am hoping it is at least as good as 28 Days Later. Perhaps I should have waited on Star Wars for the definitive boxed set which includes the original releases along with the newer edited versions but I was in one of those damned moods. But while I was looking around I found some Gojira discs that are finally made the way I've been wishing for. That would be the original unedited Japanese versions remastered from Toho originals. As a bonus the dubbed U.S. version is also included along with some bonus material. I will be returning for those. It's just too bad that this particular company only has licenses for 7 of the films.

After paying for my items I received some dollar bills back. They were filthy! The paper was almost the consistency of rice paper and they were covered with dirt or mud or who knows what. I refused to put them in my wallet or pocket so I put them on the floor of my car and I will be using those at my first opportunity. I also quickly used some liquid hand sanitizer I keep on my key chain. I think as I get older I'm more conscientious about germs and bacteria and all the ill effects of them. Am I crazy or what?

Flew The Croup

Croup. I've heard of it but never actually heard it. The Little One was doing well yesterday but early this morning my wife and I were awakened by her crying. That's when we thought we heard a seal barking. Like at a zoo seal display at feeding time. When we realized it was coming from our daughter we both kind of freaked. It lasted about 5 minutes and then the coughing turned normal. After she fell asleep again I was on the Internet looking up the symptoms. This morning from work I called the pediatrician to explain what had happened and to find out if the doctor wanted to see her or change her medication. She said there was nothing to worry about as long as her breathing doesn't become distressed. If The Little One doesn't improve by tomorrow then call and schedule an appointment. I feel better now that I know what it is and I can help her stay calm if it happens again.