Catching Up

Wow. How time flies. It has been a little over two weeks since my last post and I apologize but I wasn't allowed the use of a PC or the Internet during my (involuntary) commitment in the asylum. I wasn't allowed the use of a fork either but that really wasn't an issue because I was in a straight jacket the entire time. Ha, just kidding about the straight jacket. Now, let's see, actually I'm kidding about the asylum also. Okay then, you're probably wondering where I've been the last fifteen days.

Those of you who know me are aware that I spend a lot of time out of the country and married a foreign national. For the last two and a half years we've been waiting to get a Permanent Resident card for my wife and stepdaughter so that they could live in the U.S. So, since my last post, I was preparing documents and all sorts of other evidence in preparation for the final interview at a U.S. Consulate. I was also stressing out a bit because I absolutely can't stand governmental bureaucracy and the "hurry up and wait" attitude.

Monday the 10th was the medical exam, Tuesday the 11th was a review of documents and receipt of medical exam results, and Wednesday the 12th was the interview with an official of the consulate. They were approved and we went to the port of entry specified and had their passports endorsed. I will save for a series of later posts the details of our quest for Immigrant Visas or Green Cards.

We then took some time off from work and school and went to see Shamu. More details on this to follow later. So there you go.

Double Take

Plane bound for El Paso hit by truck in Chicago
Times wire report

I like headlines like this. The vagueness or ambiguity can sometimes be hilarious or embarrassing.

Get Out!

Do you know what the house in the middle of the picture (courtesy of Google Maps) is known for?

Bigger In Texas

Lake Tawakoni State Park in Texas has an attraction right now that some think is fascinating and others won't go near. It's a spider web that covers trees and shrubs on a trail for 200 yards. Is it the work of one giant mutant spider or the work of a group of social spiders? No one knows yet for sure but many have speculated. The park has invited entomologists to visit and study the web but so far no one has accepted. I'm guessing they're too busy studying the recently discovered South American Gigantic Hairy Blue Jumping Hunter Squeaking Spider. Very dangerous indeed. Read the whole story (about the web) here.

Be Very Still

I had to go to a clinic earlier this afternoon to get a finger x-rayed. To make a long story short, I was out on the manufacturing floor and put my hand somewhere at the wrong time and wham, possible fracture in my left digitus minimus. It has been many years since I had to have an x-ray, and I've had them taken before when I was younger, but it seems that every time I had one the room was always dimly lit. Probably has something to do with radiation and the affect of intermingling types of radiation? Who knows? I'm not a radiologist, but I could have been. But wait, when I get an x-ray at the dentist's office the lights aren't dim there. So what gives?

Bad Neighbor

I went to the Best Buy near me this evening to browse and maybe buy something. There has been a large empty lot next to their building since it had been built. About two months ago construction equipment arrived and started to prep the lot for another building. I had been speculating ever since about what store may be housed in the new building. I had hoped it would be a Barnes & Nobles since the one up the street seems too small to me and does not have enough parking spaces. But when I saw the lot tonight, the foundation had already been poured and ready to take the walls, there was a sign announcing that Circuit City would be coming soon.

Ugh, I can't stand that store. There's already one a block away and I avoid it like the plague. I guess the strategy here is that consumers will go into Best Buy and check the price of an item and then go into Circuit City to comparison shop. I know Best Buy will match competitor prices but I'm not sure about Circuit City although I'm betting they do. But I guess this is their next plan to try to increase earnings per share and to try to come out ahead of Best Buy. Well time will tell. Perhaps once Circuit City closes this new store later, Barnes and Noble or maybe a Borders will move in. That would be a happy day indeed.

Something Moved In The Corner

I started reading a book last night called Heart-Shaped Box by Joe Hill (aka Joseph H. King) which has begun to give me the creeps. I usually don't get uncomfortable reading horror or seeing movies of this genre either. I take that back. The last time I read something that gave me constant goose bumps, bad dreams, and made me uncomfortable in the dark was King's Bag of Bones. The last movie that did that to me was a film called Event Horizon.

I'm not exactly sure why I'm feeling spooked while reading this novel. Whether it's the prose or just the idea of a vengeful ghost, I have no clue. I do know that when I'm reading, everyone in the house is sleeping, and the shadows cast by my Itty Bitty book light seem darker and longer than usual. And there's the silence...except for the dog barking outside for no reason.

From Volcanoes to Dwarves

Over 1900 years ago today Mount Vesuvius erupted and buried the city of Pompeii. One year ago today Pluto was demoted to a dwarf planet. I wonder what happened to Goofy?

What else happened on this day in history can be seen here.

What the...?

You are The Devil

Materiality. Material Force. Material temptation; sometimes obsession

The Devil is often a great card for business success; hard work and ambition.

Perhaps the most misunderstood of all the major arcana, the Devil is not really "Satan" at all, but Pan the half-goat nature god and/or Dionysius. These are gods of pleasure and abandon, of wild behavior and unbridled desires. This is a card about ambitions; it is also synonymous with temptation and addiction. On the flip side, however, the card can be a warning to someone who is too restrained, someone who never allows themselves to get passionate or messy or wild - or ambitious. This, too, is a form of enslavement. As a person, the Devil can stand for a man of money or erotic power, aggressive, controlling, or just persuasive. This is not to say a bad man, but certainly a powerful man who is hard to resist. The important thing is to remember that any chain is freely worn. In most cases, you are enslaved only because you allow it.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

Just Another Little Thing

Taking into account that I'm just an Average Joe with no previous criminal record, how would the following be answered?

• Convicted of DUI and violating probation from a prior DUI would I get jail time and how much? What if I was rich and famous?


• Caught speeding on interstate and Trooper discovers a couple bags of pot and a bag of meth in the car. Jail time or a fine and slap on the wrist? What if I was a famous musician?


• I'm being drunk and disorderly and resist arrest and shove (assault) an officer while slapping his hands away from me. Would I be charged with misdemeanors or felonies? What if I was a star football player?

• What if tried to enter the secure area of an airport with a pistol in my bag and claim that I forgot it was there? Fine or jail time? What if I was an ex-mayor of the city or football coach of a legendary team?

• What if I broke the law in a foreign country, jumped bail and fled back to the States? Would I be extradited to face charges or have the whole matter dismissed? What if I was a famous T.V. personality?

Pssst, It's A Secret

Come On Home

So the Space Shuttle will land on Earth a day earlier on the presumption that hurricane Dean may cause problems at Houston's Mission Control. It turns out now that Dean will probably make landfall far from Houston but what I'm worried about is the hole on Endeavour's belly caused by falling debris from the external fuel tank. The hole goes completely through the thermal tile to the felt fabric that covers the shuttle's aluminum frame. NASA engineers and managers say the shuttle is fine to land without making any repairs in space.




I don't understand why NASA would develop procedures and tools to repair damage like this after the Columbia disaster and then choose not to do it. Unless the procedures don't really work that is. Is this decision to cover up government ineptitude or bad management at NASA? This whole deal stinks like stinky cheese. I guess we'll find out if it was the right decision around 12:32 p.m. ET tomorrow.

Arm Yourselves

I've been in the mood to do some dungeon exploration, preferably during a quest of some kind. I would like to equip a party with individuals of my preference. I would want to be able to pick each character's class and race and perhaps even their alignment. I wouldn't want to just hack and slash the entire time while exploring a dungeon. I would like a nice combat system and an in-depth storyline with lots of towns and characters to interact with. It should also be for the PS2 since I still can't afford the PS3. Or maybe I ask for too much?

See You Later Alligator

Yesterday I lovingly packed up two Elmo toys that I had to return due to the Fisher-Price recall. I was a little saddened at the thought that Elmo was probably going to meet his fate in an incinerator somewhere. The Little One has no idea (yet) that I took those two toys away and I'm glad they disappeared while she was sleeping. I'm not going to say anything about them unless she asks and then I'll probably have to make something up. I had received a postage paid label that I had to attach to the box and when I was at the post office the calculated price for shipping was $8. Wow, let's say the average consumer only has one item to return so make that an average shipping price of $4, with nine million affected toys but let's assume only eight million get returned, that comes out to $32 million for shipping alone.

My two items will require a voucher for $33 to be issued to me for replacement toys. On average most of the recalled toys were running around $13 in value, so that comes out to $104 million in vouchers if most consumers return one item. Total price for these recalls is around $136 million. I wonder if that's pocket change for Mattel or is this going to seriously hurt their bottom line? Unbelievable. Ok, sure this wasn't as exciting as figuring out the many possible combinations of Arby's 5 for $5.95 deal but it is an eye opener. I wonder where they get their Fancy Catsup from?

Combinations

Eisley rocks.

Sorry, Not Available

I went into my favorite electronics super store this evening to buy the just-released new CD Combinations by Eisley. They didn't have it. I asked one of the associates for help because there have been instances when a new CD I wanted was still sitting in their backroom on the release date but this wasn't the case tonight. They did tell me that the store on the other side of town had it but I wasn't in the mood to drive out there. I went over to another store and they didn't have it either. Bummer. I guess I'll have to drive across town later this week to get it.

Rock On

Another season of Fox's Hell's Kitchen has come and gone. I had a feeling Rock would come out the winner and even though I thought he was a jerk I think he deserved it. I always thought Bonnie was a spoiled, wishy-washy, brat but she surprised me towards the end with her total change in attitude. I was also surprised at how Julia acted in the finale and it kind of made me change my opinion of her. Let's see if she can finish her schooling and make it back on the show in the future.

One Way To Excel In Business

This is from yesterday but I think it's funny enough to post a day late.

To Buy or Not To Buy

I'm debating whether or not to buy the Harry Potter Box Set Books 1-7 (Hardcover) to be released on September 18. I haven't read any of these books nor have I seen any of the movies but I've been told that I would enjoy them. I just don't know if that's enough to justify spending $116.99 at Amazon. What am I to do?

Creepy

This video creeped me out and sent chills up and down my back and arms!

I Don't Buy It

It turns out that we have two toys of the many being recalled by Fisher Price because the paint may contain lead. I've received the information on how to send them back and receive credit for other toys and it seems straight forward and easy. It will just take some time out of my already busy day to get the stuff packed up and taken to the post office. By no means will I boycott the company but it concerns me that all of a sudden everything is being looked at under a microscope and so many problems are being discovered.

Recalls have been occurring since companies started manufacturing goods for sale but lately it seems like the media is scaring the public into not buying dozens of items. Am I going to stop buying fish because it may be laced with poison? That probably has the same chance that I will stop driving my car because it might catch on fire due to a malfunctioning cruise control. I'm not even sure what my point is but I think it has something to do with not living in fear. I mean you have to take each day and use your best judgement. I guess that suggestion could go with buying just about anything or even life in general. A philosopher I am not and it's time to go to bed.

The Next Step

Ugh. In bad taste, exploitation, insensitive...the list goes on. Read the whole story here.

It Keeps On Going

I've been seeing a commercial for a new gum which claims that the flavor lasts and lasts. Apparently the folks that make Stride gum are in dire straights because customers who bought the gum won't spit out the first piece because of the long lasting flavor. I decided to put this claim to the test although not by scientific means.

I bought a pack of Forever Fruit flavor, which reminded me of Fruit Stripe gum, and popped a piece into my mouth. I observed the time and chewed until there was no flavor at all. The gum had some semblance of flavor for eighteen minutes. I don't think I chewed the entire time so I tried another piece and it lasted fifteen minutes. I then tried a different brand of gum and it lasted for only eight minutes.

So there you go. Stride doesn't last ridiculously long but it lasted longer than one of their competitors. Tune in next week when I try to determine if the Naga Jolokia chili pepper is in fact the world's hottest pepper

What?

News Bits

I was watching the evening news which was chock full of depressing and sad reports. Flooding, displaced families, war, murders, accidents, and disasters just to name a few. What I found interesting was what I saw in a couple of the video clips. There was one where the news was doing a follow-up report of an accident or near-accident at a nuclear power plant. There always seems to be a video of the control room of the plant whenever any news channel does a report on power plants and there's always a guy sitting at a massive control panel wearing a hard hat. I was mulling over this and thought why do you need a hard hat in the control room? Is there a danger of the ceiling falling or collapsing? Maybe you need one outside the control room in a narrow, dark, and dank tunnel full of low hanging pipes but in the control room? I don't think so.

Then there was a video of a crime scene and I noticed that every time you see one of these there is always a shot of a cop talking on a cell phone or a group of them talking amongst themselves. I always imagine what these people could be talking about. Is the cop on the phone talking to his girlfriend and the group discussing where to go eat afterwards? It just bothers me that these people don't have anything better to do at a crime scene *and* let themselves be captured on video. Oh well, who am I to be complaining?

The End Of It All

Vacations are so overrated. You end up going somewhere and spending a lot of money and enduring the same amount of stress, if not more. Then you need another vacation to recover from the vacation. It's a vicious circle that thankfully I only need to endure once or twice a year. Of course all this is sarcasm and I really do enjoy vacations and the time off from work. I guess the only bad thing about vacations is trying to motivate myself to get back to work and into the swing of things. I've got to win the Lotto.

OMG! I look in my email inbox and there's a notification that I've won £1,000,000 from the British Lottery! Funny, I don't remember entering but their mistake is my gain. Finders keepers, losers weepers. That's my motto. All I have to do is send the Lottery Agent some of my personal information and I can claim my prize. I'm going to go tell The Man that I'm quitting tomorrow. Hell, I'm just not going to show up AND not call in sick. I wonder how much this is in dollars?

Alright, Now What?

You are 100% Hank-Fan! Why it's not 100% is beyond me.

You, sir or madam, are a credit to your gender and/or age group. To you, Hank is more of a demi-god than man... and who could blame you? Just don't forget to tithe, and make the checks out to his real name, not "Scott".

How Much Of A Hank Fan Are You
Quizzes for MySpace

Vacation All I Ever Wanted

Well, it's officially quitting time and I am on VACATION!! Woo hoo! Just have a few things to take care of and I am out the door and it won't be hitting me in the rear as I exit. I might post something next week if something interesting happens or if I'm in the mood to complain. But just in case...what ever happened to Baby Jane?

Some Are More Equal Than Others

I was reading this article about a Los Angeles to London flight that was diverted to New York because a flight attendant was suspicious of a passenger. The flight attendant noticed that the passenger in question rode in an employee shuttle bus and bypassed security. Apparently he also was of "Middle Eastern descent."

My big question is why aren't airline and airport employees subject to the same kind of scrutiny as your average Joe? Sure they've passed a background check but things can change rapidly in a person's life or political outlook. You may be considered safe today but tomorrow is another day. Plus I've seen enough movies where the bad guy takes advantage of this type of loophole and kidnaps some employee's family member and threatens physical harm lest the person smuggles a weapon on board..

I think all airline and airport employees should have to be checked by security personnel and screened just as everyone else has to be to enter the "secured" area of an airport. They should have to walk through a metal detector and have their bags x-rayed. Every time. No exceptions. If that's not being done then I think the area really isn't secured and they might as well do away with all the security checkpoints. So the next time you fly, be wary of the flight attendant (especially of Middle Eastern descent) because you know that he/she did not have to go through the same kind of security check that you did before boarding the aircraft. Now sit back, relax, enjoy your flight and sleep with one eye open.

Note: Only one more day before a week of vacation. Hooray! And no, I'm not flying.

And The Meek Shall Inherit The Earth

So sick yesterday. Chills, muscle aches, and fever. Didn't want to do anything nor did I actually do anything productive. When I got home from work, I went straight to bed and slept. I did wake a few times because I was thirsty or from the fever and aches. Today, it's like night and day, as far as how I'm feeling. Still not 100% but I'd say I'm feeling about 89.2112% good. I'm just glad this didn't happen during my vacation next week. Counting down...only two more days of work. Yay!

It's Alive!

From noodling to twitching fish. Can it get any stranger?

TAIPEI, Taiwan -- A chef in Taiwan is in trouble with animal lovers after reportedly serving a not-quite-dead fish as a gourmet delicacy.

A Taiwanese newspaper said the fish dish includes a carp covered with sweet-and-sour sauce, its body deep-fried but its head still twitching. Animal lovers criticize the practice, saying deep-frying will cause a fish extreme pain.

The chef said the dish -- known as "yin yang fish" -- is popular in China. Chefs use it to show customers how very fresh their food is. The newspaper said Taiwanese officials will try to persuade the chef to cook something else.

Ups and Downs

Gas prices around here have been dropping slightly over the last few days. I filled my tank on Wednesday for $2.90 a gallon and I noticed it went up last night to $2.95. Go figure. Hopefully it will go back down and stay down when I pack the family up for a road trip in about a week. With my luck though I'm not holding my breath.

Need...More...Power

If my cellular telephone's battery malfunctions, this is what I would do. Go down to my carrier's store (or an electronic superstore) and buy a replacement. Go home and pop the back off of my phone and replace the battery. Finally, I would probably have to charge the phone. Pretty much zero down-time and no hassles. But if your a proud owner of an Apple iPhone, then this is what you would do since the battery is soldered onto the electronics.

What is the iPhone Battery Replacement Program?
If your iPhone requires service only because the battery’s ability to hold an electrical charge has diminished, Apple will repair your iPhone for a service fee of $79, plus $6.95 shipping. Be sure to follow these instructions for optimizing battery life and troubleshooting battery charging issues before submitting your iPhone for battery replacement.

How much does it cost to participate in the program?
The program costs $79, plus $6.95 shipping. The program cost is $85.95 per unit. All fees are in US dollars and are subject to local tax. Service may not be available if your iPhone has been damaged due to accident or abuse. Please review Apple’s Repair Terms and Conditions for further details.

How do I send in my iPhone for battery replacement
service?
Easy. Just complete our iPod service request form. Please review the service terms and conditions. Then, follow the on-screen instructions to participate in the program.

Will the data on my iPhone be preserved?
No, the repair process will clear all data from your iPhone. It is important to sync your iPhone with iTunes to back up your contacts, photos, email account settings, text messages, and more. Apple is not responsible for the loss of information while servicing your iPhone and does not offer any data transfer service. Please do not send any accessories with your iPhone.

How long will service take?
The repair process normally takes three business days. See the iPhone Service FAQ for information about getting an AppleCare Service Phone for you to use with all of your data while your iPhone is being repaired.

Hah! And people thought I was crazy for not wanting one. Seems to me like Apple pulled a fast one.

Just Stick It Into A Hole

I watched a rerun on my local PBS station this evening about noodling. Basically it's fishing with your hands but a little bit more complicated. These guys were after catfish, which are basically bottom-feeding scavengers that live in holes along the banks of rivers and lakes, and can grow to enormous sizes. I've heard rumors of catfish the size of toddlers near a spillway at a lake in Texas. Yikes.

So anyway, these guys get in the water and submerge themselves near a hole that they think may house a catfish and stick their hands and arms in there to grab what they can. Catfish bite...and so do lots of other things in the water. Ouch. This manner of fishing can also be dangerous because of where catfish like to congregate. One noodler explained how another noodler stuck his arms under a partially submerged asphalt road, which then collapsed a bit, pinning the man's arms and preventing him from getting his head out of the water. He drowned just inches below the water. But when everything goes right noodlers catch some amazing (scary) fish.

As for me, you will never find me noodling because there is something inherently wrong with sticking your hands and arms into holes that you have no idea what could be lurking in there. I also have a low tolerance for pain so I wouldn't find getting bitten by a large fish or turtle appealing. Besides, I don't care much for catfish anyway.

Countdown to 2009

Watch it live here.

Go Dog Go

After seeing a bit of the clip on the iPhone commercial, I just had to see the rest. Woof. And when the phone has built-in GPS tied into Google Maps and becomes more like a "smart phone" then maybe I'll be interested.

Meteor My Eye

In late June of 1908, a fireball exploded above the remote Russian forests of Tunguska, Siberia, flattening more than 800 square miles of trees. Researchers think a meteor was responsible for the devastation, but neither its fragments nor any impact craters have been discovered. Astronomers have been left to guess whether the object was an asteroid or a comet, and figuring out what it was would allow better modeling of potential future calamities.

Italian researchers now think they've found a smoking gun: The 164-foot-deep Lake Cheko, located just 5 miles northwest of the epicenter of destruction.

"When we looked at the bottom of the lake, we measured seismic waves reflecting off of something," said Giuseppe Longo, a physicist at the University of Bologna in Italy and co-author of the study. "Nobody has found this before. We can only explain that and the shape of the lake as a low-velocity impact crater."

Heh, I know, along with every other X-Phile out there, what really happened in Tunguska. ;-) Read the entire article here.

Endangered or Threatened No More

The American bald eagle will be removed from the list of protected species tomorrow. Thanks in part to the Endangered Species Act of 1973 and good-hearted Americans and conservationists. We can make a difference over time if we have the foresight and commitment to do what's right. Read the whole story here.

Hot Stuff

It's so freaking hot. Nine in the evening and it's still in the 90's and no breeze. Official high for today was 106. Tomorrow the high temperature is forecasted for 101 with a slight chance of isolated thunderstorms. Please rain.

Purple Kid Eater

As the Little One and I watched a Barney video yesterday, I found myself being lulled or hypnotized into sleep by the purple dinosaur's voice. As I fought off the slumber I thought to myself how can an adult keep from dozing off during these shows? That's when I came up with my own ideas of making the show more adult friendly.

Barney is supposed to be a T-Rex so lets make his teeth more realistic. Lets make them big and sharp and also give him some claws. Then to make things more interesting, lets make a kid disappear during the show. Maybe when the audience and the kids on the show are distracted by some song and dance, Barney will move off screen just for a moment and there will be a munching and crunching sound just before he reappears on screen. After that, one of the kids won't be seen again for the rest of the show. I'm betting most won't even notice someone is missing and if they do, it's got to be a continuity error, right? But you and I would be the wiser. Later Barney can burp and explain to the kids that that isn't polite. Even after a big meal.

We Don't Repair Glasses

I bought my current glasses at one of those "ready in about an hour" places back in February of this year. After the cost of the lenses, frames, and "extras" (like scratch resistance) I ended up paying just under $300. What a bargain.

Well, my daughter loves grabbing my glasses and playing keep away. That's when she's playing nice. When she's upset, she likes to grab my glasses and throw them across the room. The last time she threw my glasses, a scratch appeared on one of the lenses. So I went back to LensCrafters this evening to see if they could buff out the scratch or do something since I had the scratch resistant coating on the lenses.

After waiting twenty minutes to be helped because they were obviously understaffed, I explained the problem to the lady and she in turn tells me "we don't repair glasses." I told her I had just gotten these glasses here less than four months ago and wanted her to at least look at the scratch. She pulls up my information on the computer and said that the lens could be replaced because the glasses were under warranty but there would be a deductible. She also stated that no lens is 100% scratch resistant. I think the sale of those types of "extras" are misrepresented and takes advantage of the customers. I mean how do I really know that my glasses are blocking harmful UV rays? I don't so that's my point. How do I know if my lenses really have a scratch resistant coating? The deductible came out to be $145 and I told her for that amount I'll live with the scratch. To myself I was thinking they can go @*&# themselves. Live and learn. That'll do donkey.

Turning Green

Please Remain Seated At All Times

It took me twenty minutes in line at Sam's Club before I paid and left because there were only five registers open and a gazillion people shopping in the store. For a second there I thought I was at Walmart. Anyway, while waiting patiently I pretty much finished reading all the nutrition facts for the stuff in my cart. There was nothing else to do and that's when I started to read the instructions printed on the child seat of the cart. You know, it's that plastic flappy deal that covers the openings for the child's legs or prevents things from falling out through the openings if you aren't using the seat. All depends on which way it's positioned.

The instructions (in English and Spanish) for use and things not to do were pretty straight forward and included diagrams. Truthfully, I don't think I've ever read those instructions even though I use the seat a lot when shopping with my kids. What caught my eye was this warning: "Your child can fall out of cart and suffer a serious head injury." Well, yeah, that's a possibility. But how about a broken arm? Or even a broken neck. It's scary thinking of all the various results that can occur if one falls out of the cart but I'm puzzled why the warning didn't just say "serious injuries?" The door is open for a personal injury attorney to make some quick cash.

Multimedia message

What about broken bones?

Don't Follow Me 'Cause I'm Lost Too

To me things like this belittles the Catholic church but that's just me. Maybe I used the wrong word. It just seems that there are more important issues to be dealt with than moral conduct during the use of a motor vehicle.

1. You shall not kill.
2. The road shall be for you a means of communion between people and not of mortal harm.
3. Courtesy, uprightness and prudence will help you deal with unforeseen events.
4. Be charitable and help your neighbor in need, especially victims of accidents.
5. Cars shall not be for you an expression of power and domination, and an occasion of sin.
6. Charitably convince the young and not so young not to drive when they are not in a fitting condition to do so.
7. Support the families of accident victims.
8. Bring guilty motorists and their victims together, at the appropriate time, so that they can undergo the liberating experience of forgiveness.
9. On the road, protect the more vulnerable party.
10. Feel responsible toward others.

Oh, please. But I guess if every driver followed these rules driving would be more pleasant and less stressful. Read the whole story here.

Oh The Horror

I had a really bad dream last night. I was yelling in my sleep during the dream and thank goodness my wife woke me. I dreamed that I lived in the house from the Ju-On series and Kayako was coming after me. It scared the hell out of me. After I awoke I just had to laugh for a while relieved that it was all just a dream.

I Am NOT Insane!

This is for everyone who said I was crazy because they had never heard of Grins & Smiles & Giggles & Laughs cereal. RASPBERRY! I seem to remember that it tasted a bit like Cap'n Crunch cereal. And I think I still have some of the free magnets that were included in specially marked boxes.

Try Converting This

According to an article in today's paper, thieves are crawling under cars and trucks to steal the catalytic converter, a device to reduce pollutants in the exhaust. They use a small electric cutting device and can remove the converter in 30 seconds. But why would they want to steal that? It turns out that inside the catalytic converter are small amounts of platinum or rhodium which are metals that can be sold on the black market for a high price. The police say that these thefts occur during all times of the day and mostly in large commercial parking lots. What will they think of next?

And I'm saddened by the passing of Mr. Wizard. Even though I watched him in the 80's I found his program entertaining and educational.

Isn't That The Truth?

Old Wive's Tale

After surfing the Internet with the Little One's symptoms yesterday I came to the conclusion that it was a rare form of a degenerative bone disease that inflicts about 1.25 in 1,000,000,000 persons living in tropical environments. Once we got to the pediatrician's office and described the symptoms to the doctor, she examined the Little One's feet and legs and said not to worry. She said it probably was growing pains and explained that only about 20% of children experience this and it usually occurs at night after a day of physical activities. Just give some children's Motrin before bedtime and everything should be fine. Whew, what a relief. Oh, and it turns out that when I was a little tyke myself, I used to wake up in the middle of the night with pains in my lower legs. I had no recollection of that.

Growing Pains

The Little One woke up twice last night crying and saying that her feet hurt. Each time it took about thirty minutes of rubbing and massaging her feet and ankles before she would stop crying and fall back to sleep. I don't know what's wrong or if this is something to take seriously. I looked on the web for help and all that has done is make me more paranoid about what could be wrong. And the instruction manual is no help at all, either.

Literally Speaking

From a Lease Contract:

"Death of Sole Resident. If you are the sole resident, upon your death you may terminate the Lease Contract without penalty with at least 30 days written notice. You will be liable for payment of rent until the latter of: (1) the termination date, or (2) until all possessions in the apartment are removed. You will be liable for all rent, charges, and damages to the apartment until it is vacated, and any removal and storage costs."

Yeah, maybe I'll have the luxury of knowing in advance when Death will come knocking on my door but you can surely bet I won't be wasting my time writing a 30 day notice. I won't have time to worry about penalties or liabilities either because I'll be DEAD! And if I were to return from the dead like a zombie from a George Romero film, I wouldn't be wasting my time removing my possessions. I'd be chasing down dinner.

Uneccesary T.V. Children

The article did right by putting Cousin Oliver at the top. Wait, I take that back. Kim Bauer should have been up there. Or maybe not. Hey, didn't Gilligan adopt a monkey during a season? Or was that Lost In Space. I get the two confused. See the article here and you can also take a poll of the most unnecessary child from a list of the unwanted there, too.

Warning

I was getting gas this evening and since I no longer enjoy watching the digital numbers on the gas pump change, my eyes were wandering. That's when I happened to notice the warnings printed on the plastic molding on the pump nozzle. To me most of them seemed to be common sense kind of stuff (Extinguish all flames, Turn off engine, etc.) but I guess you never know. The item that caught my eye though was "Licensed drivers only." Does that mean my mother-in-law who doesn't have a driver's license cannot operate the pump? How about a learner's permit? Can those teens pump gas or do they need to have the licensed driver accompanying them do it? And is it a crime for a licensed driver to pump gas for an unlicensed person? Even though it has been years since I took the exam for my driver's license I don't recall having to study anything about pumping gas.

I Have No Recollection Of That

That's what you should say especially if you work in Washington. So the former chief of staff to Vice President Cheney was sentenced to 2 1/2 years in prison. I don't know. I think that's a little harsh for lying and obstructing and technically no one was really hurt right? Right? Let's see what happens during the appeal. Read the story here.

Get the F*** Out of My Kitchen

Chef Gordon Ramsay is so unpredictable and angry that it's scary. I'd probably cry if he spit out my signature dish and started yelling at me. At least Mondays without 24 will be entertaining now that he's back.

Come Out Come Out Wherever You Are

I'm fascinated by this stuff. UFOs, Nessie, Big Foot, giant squids, monster spiders in the Amazon Basin, and haunted places to name a few. So I was really excited when I read the news about a new video taken at Loch Ness. Is it Nessie or isn't it? You decide. I think it is.

Xiang Xiang Lost and Now Nadi

Bred in captivity, released into the wild at five years old, and died less than a year later. Despite three years of "training in survival techniques and defense tactics," he apparently fell from a great height while fighting other pandas. So sad. Read the story here.

Nadi, a rare 40 year old white rhinoceros, died today at the San Diego Zoo. This endangered rhinoceros species' population is estimated at only 13 worldwide and only 5 roaming the wild. A sad state of affairs we humans have created on this planet. Read the story here.

Buy Bye Birdie

So I take my vehicle into the dealership this morning to get a manufacturer's recall taken care of. The courtesy driver is out and about so I go browsing through the new car lot. The Toyota Tundra caught my eye and soon a salesman caught me. We took it out for a test drive and I was impressed. I didn't have the heart to tell the guy I wasn't interested in buying a new car at this time so we went inside to run some numbers. If I trade in my vehicle with 21 payments still outstanding I could buy the $36,000 truck for $1 more than my car payment at this time. But then I would have 5 more years of a car payment. Should I or shouldn't I? Very tempting. Absolutely...not!

Totally Tasteless

A Dutch television network is stooping to a new low by creating the "Big Donor Show" in which contestants vie for a kidney belonging to a terminally ill woman. Unbelievable. Read the story here.

Time For Me To Grill

Snakes & Arrows

Rush rocks.

Curds and Whey

There are many things I think are inaccurate with Peter Parker aka Spiderman in his extemporization of an arachnid. The one that really stands out is his web, or more exactly, where it squirts out of. Shouldn't the web really squirt out of his butt or abdomen? Yeah, it wouldn't be a pretty site but accuracy is important. But just think. Spiders are creepy enough but imagine if they were like Spiderman and they could squirt their web out of their appendages. Yuck.

Black Rain

Ozzy is back and he rocks!!

Will It Ever End?

Had to put gas in the vehicle this evening. I went to a location near me that always has the best price around town and they were charging $3.23 a gallon. Still better than the prices at other locations. Grand total for 22 gallons...$71.04! Gas hybrids, hmmmm.

Power of Observation or Not

A little quiz to pass the time.

So I Can't Differentiate Between Java Beans & Fava Beans

This quiz displays a picture and you have to decide whether they are a computer geek or a serial killer. Have fun. Oh, 5 out of 10 for me.

Holy Reminiscence of Chris Daughtry, Batman!

See, this is why I'm not going to watch the show anymore...again. Sure, Blake can b-b-b-beatbox but his s-s-s-singing is so-so-o-o-o. Jordin is young, pretty, and can sing well but not consistently. My money was on Melinda to win but maybe all her supporters did get complacent. Read the entire story here.

In other news, I think I only come to work because of the free coffee.

That's So Dumb

Morons. Read the story here. Don't they realize they will never get that wasted time back? It's gone forever. Disappeared into the past.

O 68, O 68, I 18, I 18

I'm plugging this show purely for selfish motives. Hey, Bingo is a national past-time isn't it? With this you get all the excitement and dough without the cigarette smoke. How much more fun and excitement could you wish for?

No, No, Nooooooo!!

It's 8:10 and I'm watching a rerun of The Simpsons on FOX. Actually I've been watching reruns since 7:45. You see, I was watching a rerun of House which started at 7:00 but that abruptly cut off at around 7:20. The station was off the air for about 15 minutes and then House came back on. After about 5 minutes the show cut off again. After about another 5 minutes The Simpsons reruns started. 24 should be on now but there's a message that scrolls across the bottom of the screen saying the station is experiencing technical difficulties and they are trying to restore regular programming. They better show 24 in its entirety.

UPDATE: Apparently the local FOX affiliate suffered a catastrophic system failure which knocked out all of their program feeds. They have it fixed now and will air 24 tomorrow night at 10PM. Woo Hoo!

Change The Channel

I've probably said this before but I'm going to say it again. I can't stand having previews at the beginning of a DVD. A just released DVD is not too bad because the previews are current. But let's say you just bought a DVD movie that's a few years old. I mean who wants to see a preview of Big Momma's House today? And what makes it worse is that you can't skip the preview on a lot of DVDs. The best you can do is fast-forward through them. Battlefield Earth, oh yeah, Travolta and Whitaker at their best. Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2, a quality flick. And Mission to Mars, good cast but boring. At least I've got time to make the popcorn after I pop the DVD into the player.

Total Recall

I've got the day off so I took my vehicle into the dealership for some required maintenance. They tell me that there is a recall notice for the lower ball joint in the front suspension. The recall went into effect in January of this year. I'm just wondering why they don't send something in the mail to inform you of the recall. What if I had decided against taking my vehicle into the dealer? What if I just took it to Jiffylube for an oil change? This goes for just about anything you buy and have to register it. I know it's just a marketing ploy but if the manufacturer has your information why not use it for recall notices? Of course the dealer has to order the parts so I've got to come back at a later date to fix the problem. It figures.

The Devil's Handiwork

That would be Sudoku. I've become addicted. It's a wonderful tool to eat away time when I should be doing something important.

My One Cent

A couple of famous individuals got away with it recently in my opinion. That would be O.J. Simpson and Robert Blake. Maybe Phil Spector will be next. But we still have Paris. Of course she only violated probation by driving on a suspended license. A misunderstanding according to her but then again she wouldn't have been on probation if she had not been caught driving under the influence in the first place. Bad Paris. Now she thinks it's unfair and cruel and doesn't deserve going to jail for 45 days. Poor Paris. Notice of intent to appeal have been filed on her behalf.

But this is what really chafes me: a petition to Governor Schwarzenegger to pardon Paris. Oh, please pardon her because she provides "beauty and excitement to (most of) our otherwise mundane lives," states the petition. It even goes on to say "If the late former President Gerald Ford could find it in his heart to pardon the late former President Richard Nixon after his mistake(s), we undeniably support Paris Hilton being pardoned for her honest mistake as well, and we hope and expect the governor will understand and grant this unusual but important request in good faith to Ms. Paris Whitney Hilton," the petition says.

I'm rolling my eyes with my arms outstretched to the heavens. Apples to oranges, people, apples to oranges. Aaaagh!

You Have Nothing To Worry About

The circus was fun. The kids really enjoyed themselves. The show had twelve performing animals in all. There were six dancing horses, five Frisbee catching dogs, and an elephant. There was also only one ring. I seem to remember from my youth that there were three rings and lots of animals including lions and tigers. Perhaps the venue prevented the other rings from being used? The souvenir stands accepted credit cards. I guess times have changed.

The Circus Is In Town

The Greatest Show On Earth® is here. Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey's circus is where we'll be at on Sunday afternoon. Courtesy of a friend of mine who bought us tickets to the show. Ordinarily I would not buy tickets to a circus because I feel sorry for the animals. But I must admit that when I saw the Ringling circus when I was a little kid, I was really impressed and enjoyed it a lot. So I had to think about my objections to the treatment of circus animals or seeing my daughters' happy, smiling faces as they watch the show live. I figured my conscience would survive a couple of hours of animal commercialization. We shall see.

Find f(x) if f (1) = e

Basic math skills. Basic math skills. Basic math skills.

I'm not talking about calculating the derivative of a function but simple division. What is 60 divided by 7? You may even use paper if you need to. Or even a calculator. Just as long as your answer is 8.57142 or there abouts. If you can't handle basic math then you obviously shouldn't be in a position where you deal with numbers. Or money. It's bad enough that high schoolers working at fast food joints can't give back correct change but an adult manager at a super electronics store? Give me a break.

And I think Walmart sells censored music CDs. Those f*^%!#$ as^&%$#@.

Way To Go Idaho

I have been getting frustrated trying to find some information that would prove that I'm not just imagining things or going crazy. I have memories of an amusement center located inside Dallas Love Field airport in the mid 70s. I think it took up one of the airport's concourses and contained a roller skating rink, ice skating rink, theaters, arcades, and snack shops. One admission price allowed you to use all the facilities. I think I even saw parts of a sci-fi classic movie, Logan's Run, there. That would place the time frame to 1976. I even recall the T.V. commercials advertising this place had The Beatles' All You Need Is Love as the background music. What the heck was this place called and why can't I find anything about it?

Save It For Someone Who Cares

The other day I drove by a "church" that had double glass doors at the entrance. It was in the afternoon on a weekday so there probably wasn't a service going on. The parking lot was also empty and the curtains were drawn behind the front doors. I thought that was rather odd. Drawn curtains at the entrance. What are they trying to hide? It reminded me of traveling carnivals and the side shows proclaiming you could witness the Amazing Gorilla Woman or Slithering Snake Man if you were brave enough to enter the curtained entrance way. As if the curtains were some magical tome that would blind us from the flim-flam and sham of great proportions that would soon follow. Wait, that's odd...I hear thunder on a perfectly clear day.

You Uncultured Swine

I've been invited to an intervention but have yet to accept or decline. I have no idea what to bring if I go. I'm not very creative in the kitchen so maybe I can get away with just bringing some chips and dip. Mmmmmm.

Give Me Five

I had one of these when I was little. My dad or mom bought it and I was just tickled pink by it. The contraption was made of metal and the plastic skeleton hand would come out from under a black "blanket" and take the coin. Then the head would lean up as if it were looking for another coin. I wish I still had it.

Pocket Change

Chances are I will never make it into outer space unless aliens abduct me. Therefore I probably won't be able to experience weightlessness. But physicist Dr. Stephen Hawking will soon be able to experience zero gravity through a private company called Zero G. For a mere $3,500 you too can experience zero gravity for about seven minutes, receive a flight suit, complimentary merchandise, photos, and a DVD of the flight. Sounds like a bargain to me. Oh, Dr. Hawking's fee is being waived but something tells me he could afford it a hundred times over. If I hit the Lotto this weekend I'll charter a flight for me and my closest friends. Don't worry, according to the FAQ you're life insurance is valid for this flight.

Why Would Someone Steal Woody?

I was reading something or watching the news when I heard about a student being arrested for making terroristic threats. And it made me realize that I've heard this scenario many times over the past few years. When I was growing up, it wasn't uncommon to hear such things as "I am gonna get you good" or "You're gonna be so sorry" or "Get ready to eat a knuckle sandwich," especially out on the playground. I even knew someone who would say "You're gonna die after class." I sometimes said, although jokingly, "I hope you die in your sleep" but I guess that's really not a threat but more wishful thinking. I personally don't think a first grader understands he's making a threat or doing anything wrong when he says that but hey, that's my opinion.

Some exciting news about European astronomers finding the "most Earth-like planet outside of our solar system." It is only 120 trillion miles away and circles a red dwarf star. The researchers believe that the planet's "average temperature to be somewhere between 32 and 104 degrees and that set off celebrations among astronomers." Read the entire fascinating article here.

And hooray for Roger Ebert, who will be "returning to public view for the first time since having cancer surgery," at the ninth annual Overlooked Film Festival at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign. Read about it here.

Another Day

Let's see, now. There's just so much stuff I don't know where to begin. Jack's Audrey is a little crazy, I think. I miss watching Heroes and Hiro. It seems the military has told some untruths about Tillman and Lynch. Some of The Simpsons Movie trailers can be viewed here. Looks like American Idol reject Sanjaya is going to be bigger than William Hung and even thanks Simon. What the hell is a four year old doing playing unsupervised on the sidelines of a college football game? Toyota overtakes GM in global vehicle sales. You can listen to Ozzy's new single "I Don't Wanna Stop" from his upcoming album new album here. Yadda, yadda, yadda.

This Will Work

Ok, I've got this great idea to extend the life-cycle of American Idol. Let's introduce a giant gong behind the three judges. During the earlier (more than ten contestants) shows each of the judges can use the gong without limits to end a performance that they think is bad. But once there are only ten contestants or less, each judge can only use the gong once per show to cut short a performance and that judge would not be able to use the gong on the next show. This would prevent Simon from using the gong every week and cause him to only use it for an exceptionally horrendous performance. The phone voting would still take place and contestants that were "gonged" can still receive votes but 25% of their vote is deducted as a penalty. I think it would be great to see Simon dancing behind the table holding that thing to hit the gong with and teasing the performer before pounding on the gong and all the while Paula fighting to prevent him from doing it. I'm laughing just thinking about it. :-)

You're Not Fat, Just Husky

Hey, do they still make boy's clothing in the Husky size? They probably do but I just don't look in those areas since I have two girls. Which leads me to another thought. Why don't they or didn't they have a Husky size for girls. Or would that be the equivalent of a Plus size? But do they have plus sizes for young girls? These questions will burn in my mind and keep me awake tonight.

And In Other Monkey Business...

ANTWERP, Belgium - We all know not to feed the animals when visiting the zoo. Now the Antwerp Zoo has urged visitors to, please, stop staring at the chimpanzees. New rules have been posted outside the chimp enclosure at the city zoo urging visitors not to form a bond with a particular male chimp named ’Cheetah.’ He was raised by humans but is now bonding with the seven other apes at the park, a zoo official said Wednesday.

"We ask, we inform our daily visitors and other visitors that one of the monkeys is particularly open for human contact," zoo spokeswoman Ilse Segers told AP Television News. "He was raised by humans in a family and therefore we are trying to integrate him, to try to get more social integration with the group."

She said Cheetah’s continued interaction with humans was "delaying the social integration of the animal in the group," and isolating the ape from the others. A sign posted on the glass enclosure asks onlookers not to stare at the apes. "Look away when an animal seeks to make contact with you, or take a step back," it says. "Some
individuals are more interested with visitors than their own kind."

Read the entire story here.

The Truth Hurts

Natural Selection Did What?!?

According to research at the University of Michigan "chimps may actually have adapted more to their environment as a result of natural selection. It underlines that evolution is not a matter of progress towards a goal, and that it is incorrect to assume that more intelligent species are 'more evolved'." Hmmmm. Very interesting. I'm not a Geneticist (I could have been one if it weren't for all those Biology classes) but I think I would like to read the study before saying these researchers are a bunch of monkeys. You can read the article here.

To Infinity and Beyond

Thought:All "Loners" should be identified and sent to psychiatrists to determine if they are a threat to themselves or others. That would include all individuals who play Dungeons and Dragons and don't interact with 'real' people very well.

In other thoughts:What other crisis could pop up in Jack Bauer's already stressful day?

Politics Test...I Am Aghast!

You are a Social Liberal (61% permissive) and an... Economic Liberal (33% permissive) You are best described as a: Democrat Link: The Politics Test on Ok Cupid Also: The OkCupid Dating Persona Test

Sometimes I'm a...

(_E=mc2_) but mainly I'm just a (_zzz_).

I may have to start using assicons in my emails to coworkers regularly.

These Were The Best Part Three

These Were The Best Part Two

These Were The Best Part One

Multimedia message

De plane, de plane!

Ugh!

I want a toothbrush that will last at least a month. Or even two months would be ideal. I think toothbrushes are manufactured to be replaced every month. Give me a break. Oh, and I've decided that there is something terribly wrong with American Idol and refuse to watch it now.

I Won!

Got this in my inbox this morning and I tried it out a little while ago. I can't believe I won. I never win at anything. Playing also kept me awake. Who in their right mind schedules meetings in the morning? Here are the "rules" and some testimonials...


>1. Before (or during) your next meeting, seminar, or conference call,
> prepare yourself by drawing a square. I find that 5"x5" is a good
> size. Divide the card into columns-five across and five down.
> That will give you 25 one-inch blocks.
>
> 2. Write one of the following words/phrases in each block:
>
> * synergy
> * strategic fit
> * core competencies
> * best practice
> * bottom line
> * revisit
> * expeditious
> * to tell you the truth (or "the truth is")
> * 24/7
> * out of the loop
> * benchmark
> * value-added
> * proactive
> * win-win
> * think outside the box
> * fast track
> * result-driven
> * empower (or empowerment)
> * knowledge base
> * at the end of the day
> * touch base
> * mindset
> * client focus(ed)
> * paradigm
> * game plan
> * leverage
>
> 3. Check off the appropriate block when you hear one of those
> words/phrases.
>
> 4. When you get five blocks horizontally, vertically, or diagonally,
> stand up and shout "BULLSHIT!"
>
> Testimonials from satisfied "Bullshit Bingo" players:
> -- "I had been in the meeting for only five minutes when I
> won."- Adam W., Atlanta
>
> -- "My attention span at meetings has improved dramatically."-
> David T., Florida
>
> -- "What a gas! Meetings will never be the same for me after my
> first win."- Dan J., New York City
>
> -- "The atmosphere was tense in the last process meeting as 14 of
> us waited for the fifth box." - Ben G., Denver
>
> -- "The speaker was stunned as eight of us screamed 'BULLSHIT!'
> for the third time in two hours." - Karen D., Los Angeles

What Did They Use?

I was reading an interesting entry in Wikipedia about toilet paper. Why, you ask? I'm not exactly sure anymore but I was originally looking up something else and the clicking of different links eventually took me here. Very interesting reading indeed. I had an idea but was surprised to read about the different alternatives people used before toilet paper was invented. Ouch! But it also got me thinking about my childhood and seeing a different color roll of toilet paper in the bathroom every week. Different pastel colors if my memory is correct. You know, I don't recall seeing colored toilet paper at the stores these days. Did they go the way of the Dixie Cup? Maybe it's just that I'm not paying attention or not looking hard enough. Anyway, the question of the day is: Are you a folder, scruncher, or wrapper? Don't bother letting me know. It's just a question that I have no desire to know the answer to.